Peace, the kind I am writing about today, is defined as freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions, or in a state of concord or tranquility. (Merriam-Webster)  The word “peace” as it appears in the above Scripture (and in the New Testament as a whole) comes from the Greek word “eirene” and refers to security, safety, prosperity, or “the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is.”

We all have different views on what peace looks like, and I suppose it’s a very subjective concept. Its presence as a feeling or state of being are uniquely personal, and sometimes it’s hard to determine whether or not we are truly at peace. Then, of course, there’s the matter of what kind of peace we have (arguably, the Scriptural meaning cannot be separated from the English meaning).

I’ve come to realize through my own experiences that sometimes we think we have peace, but we really do not. I think we confuse peace with being happy or satisfied in a moment. And it’s not to say that that isn’t peaceFUL,  but do we really have peace?

I remember the day when I discovered that what I had thought was peace throughout my entire life, was just passing phases of contentment. The moment I felt the peace of God was the instant I finally understood what true peace really feels like. At the time, I was lying in bed sobbing, wondering if my husband was going to come home from the hospital for the 3rd time following his complicated surgery. I’m not sure how I heard Him over my cries, but I heard God ask very clearly, “Amanda, even if he does not come home, will you still trust me?” I immediately stopped crying, let out a loud “yes,” and then proceeded to rest as God filled me with the type of peace that only He can give.

And so, from that day, I learned to discern real, God-given peace from superficial peace, divine from fallible. I’ve learned that, as the above verse suggests, we have to receive divine peace in each area, season, or circumstance. The path to receiving peace is different from person to person, event to event, stage to stage. And a lot of us, including myself, fall somewhere between having no peace to full peace, not landing on either end, but working our way to fullness.

I have recently had to go through an express “peace process” in dealing with death. My grandfather was placed in hospice care just two weeks ago, and then his spirit went on to be with the Lord last week. None of this was unexpected, and I had previously said my goodbyes and thank yous to one of the most influential men in my life. Still, I found myself going through every single step of grief and unable to find peace. I stubbornly allowed myself to go through the process, as we all should, but today I can say that I’ve arrived at peace in this circumstance.

After praying and lamenting to God, I no longer cry over memories or the absence of my grandfather, but can smile about those things. The thought of my grandmother without her partner of 60+ years doesn’t trouble my heart now, it makes me glad and grateful for the comfort of God. And even being absent from his funeral and celebration of life no longer worries me, because God has been able to calm me through messages, messengers, and the promises laid out in His Word.

And while I can recognize this instance of receiving peace, I know I still am on the peace journey in other areas of my life. I still struggle with peace in regards to letting go of guilt and condemnation from past behaviors. I am looking for perfect peace in relationships that need my full forgiveness. And, there’s no hiding that I still am on the path to peace in my reconciliation with having chronic illnesses. But, in all of those areas, I know that I am further along in the process than I was five years, or even one year ago. And that progress has come from building my relationship with Christ, doing intense, purposeful introspection, and just allowing time for God to help heal me.

We all struggle at times to find/receive peace in the face of tragedy, suffering, departures, and just merely the ups and downs of life. The one constant is that there is always peace to be given and received. We simply need to keep pursuing God. And once we are open and ready to receive it, we will understand the inexplicable calmness and strength that it accompanies. That, in and of itself, will motivate us to continue pursuing the peace of God until we have every ounce of it that He has intended for us.