Day 21 - Worry & Anxiety
In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. Psalm 94:19 (NKJV)
Look! Anxiety is real. Panic attacks are real. Anxiety can be debilitating. I’ve lived it, and I’ve seen others go through it. There is no shame in seeking help. Talk to you doctor, counselor, psychiatrist, etc. Get the help you need to continue moving forward. Don’t let hidden anxiety be the thing that holds you back.
The above Scripture is one of my absolute favorites. Probably because I, Amanda Hughley, have a multitude of anxieties. Just ask my husband. Or my mom, or my spiritual moms, or friends. I’m high strung, yet God is willing to comfort me through each and every one at any time. I always joke with one of my friends that God must continually roll his eyes at me, saying “Do we have to go through this again, Amanda? Haven’t I done x, y, & z for you? Why are you worrying now?” I’m so grateful that He knows His children by name, because we’ve gotten to the point where God will automatically give me confirmation, reconfirmation, and re-reconfirmation just to clear any doubt out of the way.
2018 was so eye-opening to me in regards to anxiety, because I learned that anxiety had continually held me back from growing and being obedient. I also learned first-hand what panic attacks feel like. Anxiety is no joke, and if you’re not careful, it can single-handedly stop you from stepping into your purpose and attaining victory. When new possibilities and opportunities arise, so does anxiety. It can scare us because we feel unprepared or unworthy of the position. We wonder how we could possibly achieve what needs to be done, or why someone more qualified isn’t supposed to do it.
God and I have had a lot of talks about where He wants me to go this year. (By the way, have you talked to Him lately?) I guess I shouldn’t call them “talks” because really it’s Him showing me where He’s taking me, and me having a moment(s) of panic. In November of last year, God led my pastor to pour into me about my “kingdom.” Exciting, right? Not to Amanda’s multitude of anxieties. I spent the next few weeks worrying about how I was going to fulfill the call rather than being excited and joyful about where God was taking me. It took over a month of encouragement and prayer to finally reconcile my anxiety with God’s plan.
With a couple weeks left until 2019, God began to speak loud and clear. There was no way I could do what I am supposed to do if I continued to let my worry and anxiety hold me back. He gave me consistent reminders of the grace, mercy, and protection He gave me throughout the hardest year of my life. He brought to my remembrance all of the assignments He had given me, and how I had gotten through each and everyone with His help. “I will never leave you, nor forsake you” replayed in my mind. So, here we are in 2019, and I have made it my charge to be victorious over anxiety this year.
And guess what ya’ll? Anxiety already got me this year. I know, I know – I didn’t even make it a full month. I cried and complained, and tried to run away from an assignment because I saw the weight that it carried (more about this in a post later this week). But, I can say that I have made some progress, because it took me a little less time to get through the anxiety, and I saw the power that God gave me when I entrusted it all back to Him.
So, let me conclude by saying this to everyone reading: you have more wisdom, skills, power, and influence than you think you do. Whatever lies ahead of you may seem huge, but it’s not too huge for you, and it certainly is not too huge for God. It may be difficult, but it won’t be beyond your ability to overcome adversity. Look, we are ALL works in progress; where we are now is not, nor should it be, where we will be next year, 10 years from now, or beyond. Most of all, if you know for a fact that God has told you to do something, don’t be your own worst enemy. Y’all, He trusts you with that thing, and that’s the HIGHEST honor anyone could ask for. He will give you the strength, wisdom, and endurance to accomplish your calling. If you need to do it scared, then do it scared; just don’t let it stop you from moving forward.