Our Worrying Distractions
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. ”
In my last blog post, I shared with you our great excitement about receiving what we had prayed for so patiently - our newest family member. Micah arrived in August 2021 and he is absolutely perfect. Now, I’m going to preface my next thoughts with this - we know that we are incredibly blessed to have Micah in our lives. However, the last eight months have been a messy blur. I (we) have endured a traumatic birth experience, a NICU stay, sleepless nights, postpartum depression and anxiety, sleepless nights, a continued pandemic, and did I mention the sleepless nights?
To say that I’ve had a rough go at motherhood the second time around would be an understatement. Again, I am grateful for even the worst parts. But one of the biggest battles I have fought was internally: balancing the spiritual side of things with the natural occurrences of the postpartum journey. During this time, I often wondered if my prayers were either foolish, fruitless, or both, as it is natural to have intense swings of emotion with giant hormonal shifts and life transitions. I began wondering how we are actually supposed to pray when we have an understanding of the biological occurrences that are happening in our bodies.
As I have gone through this season, I have realized that this battle is the same one being fought daily by those of us with chronic illnesses. What is happening in our bodies has immense power in our minds. We learn how to be experts on our bodies - what symptoms look and feel like, what triggers our flares, what types of medications work and which don’t. Intellectually, we know what is happening. Spiritually, we know our bodies are under attack. We pray against fatigue, but we know our body is just reacting to the exhausting week we just had. We pray for relief of symptoms, but we also know medicine takes some time to kick in. We pray for healing while knowing the typical course of our particular illnesses.
Naturally, as I struggled with postpartum anxiety, I was aware that hormones were to blame. But I also knew there was a spiritual component to it. Honestly, in the midst of it all, it was confusing and hard to pray about. As I searched for Scripture, I kept being brought to Philippians 4:6-7 (see above), but most times I would just roll my eyes…”tell my body not to be anxious then!” But as I went further along in the process of becoming well again, I decided to dig a little deeper.
The Greek word used for “anxious” in this passage is merimnaō (μεριμνᾶτε). The root of this word tells us that anxiety here is a form of distraction - it draws our minds in different directions, or in this context, away from God. What a revelation this was for me! Paul’s target here is not anxiety (diagnosed or other). Rather, it is anything that pulls us away from God.
So the light bulb above my head has illuminated and I have this to conclude: our physical conditions, whether they are chronic illnesses, mental illnesses, or simply just natural processes that occur in our bodies, can have both spiritual and natural origins. Sorting that out is a matter of personal prayer and discernment. At the end of the day, they are really two sides of the same coin. What we really should be spending our time examining is whether, and how, our condition is distracting us from God.
The great thing about reframing Philippians 4:6 is that it takes the emphasis off of a particular emotion or status and places it on an action. I have far more power over my focus than I do over my hormones. I have so much more control over shifting my eyes than I do shifting my infant’s sleep schedule to prevent a flare. And built within that reframing is that the ultimate control is placed back onto God. We only have to be concerned about staying fixated on Him. The situation may or may not change in the timeframe we desire. But, He will give us the peace we need in any given time or space, as long as we don’t allow that thing to draw us away.
I’m doing much better now, thanks to time, therapy, and a deeper understanding of God’s Word and mercy. I hope and pray that whatever may be on your mind right now - illness, circumstances, grief, or other - no longer draws you away from the One who can provide you with the grace you need in this moment.